My Part

The past 24 hours have been much like the past 24 days which have been much like the past 24 months which have been much like the past 24 years. I walked through my waking hours and realized countless moments that I'm not God and can't be and shouldn't be. I must admit, every time I realize this, there is a bit of dejection that I experience. It is almost always with a hint of shock that I make this discovery too. "Ah man, I wanted to play God today...bummer"

Yesterday, when I woke up after my 17th consecutive night of 5 hours of sleep and felt like I could go back to sleep until mid November, I wished that I could be God so I didn't have to shut down and could stay up 24/7. Apparently, God is the only one qualified to do that (and didn't he say something about a Sabbath deal in Gen?) and so that stinks. I went into the office and realized that my small church has more need than one man can provide. Now you think I would realize this since in my own life God uses many people to help me transform spiritually. So I sat at my desk and kept wishing I was God. Good thing we had a staff meeting yesterday so I could at least be in charge of something. That feeling of power quickly faded after our amazing administrator, Karen Black, beat me bad in bowling yesterday. (this just in...Stephen Bailey bowled a 155!)

Last night Kim and I attended a fund raising dinner for Eastern European Missions with our friends Alan and Donna Phillips from MRN) and watched a video of people who are hurting and hungry for Bibles. I wanted so badly to heal and help them all! At one point I leaned over to Kim who had either been covertly cutting onions for an hour or was her usually compassionate self and was crying a Niagara of tears and said, "should we not unpack the boxes?" (implying that we move to Russia and help these people) to which she said, "yes!" Bottom-line is that we could move to Russia and still the need will be overwhelming. Why? Because try as I might, I am not God. Kim is a lot closer but even she is not God.

And then this morning I was hit again with the reality that I can't play God's part as looked at photos online of the devastation caused by Katrina in the Gulf Coast states. Horrible! For some powerfully painful pictures click here. As I scrolled through those pics I was just overwhelmed to the point of grief with the destruction and wished so badly that I could have stopped it or at least fixed it with a snap of my fingers. But I couldn't. I can't. I never will be able to.

But I can play my part. I can do my part in the grand play of life for the one act that I get to live. I can serve with all I've got for the hours that I'm awake. I can lead and encourage the staff and church with which God has blessed me. I might not be cast in the part of missionary in the Ukraine but I can give of my money and prayers. I can't stop a Hurricane (and apparently it shouldn't have been stopped?) but I can start a collection at our church to help raise funds for the victims.

I can do my part. You can do your part. God is on His throne! Amen.