Tuesday, September 30, 2008

7 Ridiculous Ways to Die While Golfing

Ran across this on Digg the other day...

If you could choose the means by which you’ll check out of this life, most men would either die old, do something gloriously macho, or in David Blaine’s case find the lamest way possible. Not many would choose getting peed on by a rat. Yet, we have evidence that golf is one of the most dangerous athletic activities anyone can partake–not because of a lightening strike or an animal attack, but apparently what appears to be natural selection working its course when they would’ve been safer fighting MMA.

1997 - David Bailey, 40, of Dublin, Ireland was playing a round when he jumped into a ditch to find his lost ball at the Caddockstown golf course in Co Kildare. It turns out said ditch was inhabited by a rat who was so startled it ran up his trousers and urinated down his leg. Not to be phased, Bailey ignored his partners urging to take a shower citing that he had no visible scratches or bites–just pee. After touching his leg he proceeded to smoke a cigar and only got around to showering 4 hours later. Two weeks later he checked into a Dublin hospital with severe jaundice and dropped dead with a collapsed kidney. It turns out he contracted a bacterial infection called leptospirosis, which is often spread by rodents.

1994 - Jeremy Brenno, 16, of Gloversville, NY was so angry about his bad shot that he gave his 3-wood a good whack against a bench. Like a new scene from Final Destination the shaft broke, his club bounced back, and the broken piece pierced his pulmonary vein.

1951 - Edward Harrison of Kenmore, WA was playing a round at the Inglewood Country Club when the shaft of his driver broke and pierced his groin. He staggered 100 yards before bleeding to death.

1995 - Jean Potevan of Orleans, France was so irate after missing 3 straight puts that he threw his bag into a lake out of sheer frustration. Only problem: his car keys were also in the bag. He dove in and proceeded to drown after getting entangled in the weeds. According to his golf partner, his last words were “I’m going back for the keys, but I’m leaving the clubs down there.”

1995 - Takeo Niyama, 43, only had 2 previous convictions and had served 6 months for assaulting someone on the golf course just a year before; so obviously it sounds perfectly safe to play a round with him and make fun of his bad form. His golfing partner Aioa Sakajiri laughed at his horrible slice into a Tokyo lake, so Niyama beat him to death wtih a 5-iron.

1994 - Diana Nagy of Charleston, WV, became a widow when her husband Alexander Nagy fell from a golf cart while playing heavily intoxicated in a tournament at Berry Hills Country Club. Claiming the cart should’ve had seatbelts, she filed suit 2 years later seeking $15M. Her defendants included the country club, the golf cart manufacturer & 2 subsidiaries, and her own son who was driving the cart. Lesson: Don’t drink and drive, but if you do teach your son how to avoid golddiggers.

Despite all these unfortunate golfing accidents, there is one way to go that is worthy of going out in style:

1994 - Emil Kijek, 79, of North Atteboro, MA hit his first ever hole-in-one while golfing at the Sun Valley Golf Course in Rehoboth, MA. After doing so he approached the ball, said “Oh no”, and collapsed.

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