He Had A Million of Em!

I came across this and thought it was worth sharing:

Comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who died October 5, 2004, at age 82, made a living making fun of himself and the difficulty of getting what we all desire: a little respect, please. Some of his best lines were:

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"

"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance."

"My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark. …"

"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."

"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West."


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