Friday, July 16, 2004

My Dream State and My Dream Court

I'm dreaming here for just a minute.  I have given myself permission to think about something besides D, J, E, & P (the four sources of the Pentateuch) and the rest of the OT (Old Testament for you non-brainiacs) for a brief moment.  My massive final (which I plan to post at a later time) is due by midnight tonight so I am in full study mode.   When I smelt my brain frying I knew it was time for a pause in the action.  I took a break and ran across some fairly funny material from (page 2) which I felt compelled to share a sampling with you.  So here it is.  It is not any thing to do with the Deuteronomic History of Ancient Israel and that my friends is good enough for me.
This is a comment that Jimmy Kimmel made about Los Angeles:
Here's a little secret I probably shouldn't let you in on, but I will: Wherever you're living right now, L.A. is nicer. In nearly every category, we win. No reasonable person who has ever spent any amount of time here would argue this -- and those who do are in denial. Our weather is better, we have more to do, more to see -- our gardeners charge 50 bucks a month -- and, as a group, the women here make yours look like livestock. L.A. is to cities what George Clooney is to men. Better. And those "earthquakes" we have once every 10 years? Spielberg, Lucas and -- starting next year -- DeVito produce them to scare people away who might be thinking of moving here. Please don't tell anyone.
What is your thoughts?  Is your state/city better?  Why?
And then again from page 2 came this thought from someone named Scott Dempsey, College Park, Md.
So I was sitting bored in a Constitutional law class and I thought if I got to pick the Supreme Court, the UCR would be through the roof. So here's what I came up with: Toby Keith, Harold Lederman, William Hung, Sly Stallone, Paris Hilton, Chyna, Malcolm Jamaal Warner, Stephen Hawking and Ruthie from "Real World Hawaii." C'mon, how hilarious would it be to see Sly walk into a courtroom wearing a leather robe and with his "Rocky II" hat. And seeing Lederman go back and forth with Stephen Hawking has got to be right up there with a Dikembe Mutombo press conference. Am I wrong here?--
So again, I ask you (the bloggerite community) (man I'm in this OT stuff too deep) what are your thoughts?  Who is your dream Surpreme Court?  I'll share mine at a later point (i.e. when my final is done)
Speaking of my final...


Matt said...

My dream Supreme Court (should we play techno-jam music with flashing lights as they run onto the court?):

- Keepers: Rhenquest, O'Connor, Thomas
- For Diversity of Perspective and Wisdom: Nelson Mandella
- For Fun: Mark Cuban and Whoopi Goldberg
- Bible Characters: Soloman and Luke (classically educated author of the fourth gospel)
- Ex-Presidents: Jefferson, Lincoln, JFK
- Fictional People Who Would be Great: Yoda, Gandalf, and Mr. Spock

To make things interesting, I considered adding Darth Vader to my list, but I kept imagining how I would get killed by one of those force choke-holds if I ever arged a case in front of him ("I find your lack of precedent DISTURBING, Counselor.")

Sam Middlebrook said...

Anyone who thinks L.A. is the best city in the nation is incredibly wrong. Two words for ya...

1. Smog
2. Seattle

Corey said...

I strongly disagree with this take on Los Angeles. In fact, I refuse to call it "L.A.", because it is not dignified enough to have a cool nickname. Actually, I despise Los Angeles. If Vegas were closer, they could be New Sodom and New Gomorrah. Sorry, Joel, I know it is in California. I know Disneyland is there. But I still don't like Los Angeles. Give me Nashville everyday of the week and twice on Sunday (just to hear Brandon Scott).

As far as my Supreme Court, those presiding are:

1. Larry Bird (for racial issues)
2. Richard Williams (to even out Bird and promote his daughters)
3. Sean Hannity
4. Fuzzy Zoeller
5. Jimmy Buffett
6. Peyton Manning (need to lower the intelligence quotient)
7. Ron Burgundy
8. Phil Ivey (Could look for Lawyer's "tells")
9. Sandra Day O'Connor (just for old times sake)

Not exactly the People's Court, but it's close.

Joel Quile said...


True, Nashville does have Brandon Scott. But Los Angeles has Pat Boone...

Lovell's Lookout said...

One bedroom rent in LA: $1350
Plastic Surgeon monthly Botox intstallment: $3,000
Monthly contribution to OJ Simpson/ Kobe Bryant defense fund: $350
Gas spent on waiting in traffic jams: $189
Knowing you could slide of into the Ocean at any given moment: priceless

Now that's the Place to Live!!!