Sunday, March 20, 2005

Pitching a Fit!

Okay, I'm at church this morning and it hits me: What's with the pitch pipe? How the heck did that little sucker sneak into the church? It is, after all, an (insert your own gasp here) instrument. Yeah, you heard me. I've just declared the pitch pipe an instrument. I mean it is a glorified harmonica don't you think? So for those of us who find ourselves worshiping in a barbershop quartet inspired church service we have to ask ourselves some serious questions like what's next? One of those little egg shakers? Say it isn't so!

So you've heard it first on this very blog - I say it's time to purify the barbershop-like-brotherhood for good: I say BAN THE PITCH PIPE! If I can be instrumental in riding the church of that little instrument then my life will be complete. You want to rid the body of false doctrine, sin, and demonic influence? Purging the pipe is the key.

But is it the right key?


Greg Kendall-Ball said...

Perhaps you should EMBRACE the pipe! As you have rightly pointed out, brother, this is indeed an INSTRUMENT. Air is forced over a thin reed-type device which causes the particles of said reed to reverberate at a certain frequency, which disturbs the air around it, and causes air particles (beginning at the source and emanating out in a spherically shaped field) to move back and forth, until such time as the air particles in a person's ear canal vibrate, producing movement on the ear drum, which in turn transmits the movements (tiny as they are) into the hammer and stirrup bones, which are then converted into a chemical signal which is sent to the brain and interpreted as sound.

Sounds like an instrument to me!

Perhaps embracing the pipe, making it a central feature of our worship, would allow for us to introduce OTHER instruments!


That Girl said...

When I was a wee little girl, I thought the song leaders were all tasting an Oreo before leading their song... now you tell me they were using an INSTRUMENT?