Pious Horror

John Stott just kicked my butt.

"Christian salt has no business to remain snugly in elegant little ecclesiastical salt cellars; our place is to be rubbed into the secular community, as salt is rubbed into meat, to stop it going bad. And when society does go bad, we Christians tend to throw up our hands in pious horror and reproach teh non-Christian world; but should we not rather reporach ourselves? One can hardly blame unsalted meat for going bad. It cannot do anything else. The real question to ask is: where is the salt?"
- John Stott in 'The Message of the Sermon on the Mount."

Why The Long Face?

John Kerry

Well, it's over. And of course the last to admit defeat was Kerry. (He still hasn't at the time of this post).

I have some thoughts on this election:

Maybe Ohio voted for Kerry before they voted against him.

Look on the bright side ... while the "Flip" is gone - the "Flop" part of Kerry's persona is very much alive!

Looks like John isn't the only Kerry in the "Ketch Up" business.

Yes, more people will die in combat in a terrible war that may or may not have been a brilliant proactive move (only history will tell) but that number is only about 1/100th of the innocent babies that will be killed before they ever have a chance to be born, grow up, decide to serve our country and then die at the hands of our enemies. So if innocent lives being slaughtered are important to you I guess that today's news has to come as a dissappointment.

Maybe Kerry can take back that shotgun and camo outfit to Walmart since it has only been used once?

One thing is for sure - while being a master of the English language is helpful - America has spoken (by more than 4 million votes) that being a great debator and the most liberal politician in America won't get you elected.

I'm sure Kerri can catch up (pardon the punn) on his sleep in one of 7 mansions.

With Kerry out of the picture it might just mean that the government will have to handle Air Space Defense, new highways, and putting officers on the beat. Caring for the poor, helping the sick, and teaching our children values will default to individual family members, churches and other non government sources. I know that isn't the news that most Kerry supporters wanted to hear.

If anyone is really upset that Kerry never got the chance to implement his health insurance policy they could always move to Canada and check it out first hand.

And finally, as sinical and snooty as this post has been I want to end this post with my true feelings:

No matter who had won the election or what happens in the future God is still God. America's future is not dependant on an election but on an our eternal God. The kingdom is still alive in America and breaking forth in pockets of faith every where, every day. And the world we live in is much bigger than America and we need to remember that God is in all peoples and over all nations.

This song says it best:

You Are God Alone

You are not a god Created by human hands
You are not a god Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is
Chorus: You are God alone From before time began
You were on Your throneYour are God alone
And right now In the good times and bad
You are on Your throneYou are God alone
You’re the only GodWhose power none can contend
You’re the only God Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God And that’s just the way it is
Repeat Chorus Bridge:
Unchangeable Unshakable Unstoppable
That’s what You are

Amen.

And the Oscar goes to .... Napoleon Dynamite

Kip, Napoleon Dynamite, Uncle Rico

One of the greatest movies of all times has to be Napoleon Dynamite. If you have not seen this epically (is that a word?) funny movie - by all means - go see it right now. It is PG and put out by - get this - MTV films! It is super clean, terribly hilarious, and is one of the most quoteable movies ever (Fletch, Dumb & Dumber, Tommy Boy & Tombstone rounding out the top 5) and I've taken the liberty to share of my favorite lines in this classic comedy:

Napoleon Dynamite : Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip : Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite : Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip : Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite : What?
Kip : I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

-------
Napoleon Dynamite : Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary No. 1 : Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon Dynamite : I don't feel very good. [takes telephone and dials number]
Kip : [making nachos on the other line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite : Is grandma there?
Kip : No, she's getting her hair done. Napoleon Dynamite : Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Kip : What do you need?
Napoleon Dynamite : Can you just go get her for me?
Kip : I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon Dynamite : Just tell her to come get me.
Kip : Why?
Napoleon Dynamite : Cause I don't feel good!
Kip : Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon Dynamite : No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
Kip : No.
Napoleon Dynamite : Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip : No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite : But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip : Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite : I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip : See ya.
Napoleon Dynamite : Ugh! Idiot!

------
Uncle Rico : So how are things going with you and your girlfriend?
Kip : Well, I think it's getting pretty serious. We chat online for like two hours a day so yeah, you could say it's getting pretty serious.

What were your favorite lines?

He Had A Million of Em!

I came across this and thought it was worth sharing:

Comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who died October 5, 2004, at age 82, made a living making fun of himself and the difficulty of getting what we all desire: a little respect, please. Some of his best lines were:

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"

"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance."

"My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark. …"

"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."

"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West."


Post a comment sometime when you have no class.

Flop Til You Drop!

A friend of mine sent me this link today in an email. This is funny no matter who you are. Click here.

Enjoy!

You might have to refresh it and it does take a minute to load but is worth the wait.

My Head Hurts

My head hurts. Why you ask?

Headache? No.
Blunt blow to the skull? Nope.
De-hydration? Nah.

Sitting in a church planter's conference from 9:00 - 5:00 that was light on breaks and heavy on content? Yes.

Yesterday was amazing! My head is a Thanksgiving turkey crammed with the stuffing of information and quotes and ideas.

Here is a taste:

* There is more than one way to grow a church.
* It takes all kinds of churches to reach all kinds of people.
* If a principle is biblical, it will work anywhere.
* Never confuse the method with the message. The message must never change, but the methods must continually change.
* It's not about church growth. It is about church health.
* We need to have the attitude of "We are a family expected guests"
* Churches can be driven by tradition, personalities, finances, buildings, programs, events, the un-churched, and many other bad forces.
* We must continually communicate the vision. The MVP of the World Series will go to spring training next year.
* It is all about balance.
* Goals help faith turn into facts.
* Pastors must help the church catch the vision. We must practice "creative redundancy"
* The major difference between church planting and church launching is that you plant small but you launch large.
* Priorities of a Purpose-Driven Church should be: #1: Purposes #2: People #3: Program #4: Property. Most churches focus too much on property.
* Jesus had a clear evangelistic target: Matt 15:24
* Paul had a clear evangelistic target: Gal 2:7
* Jesus gave the disciples a clear evangelistic target: Matt 10:5-6
* Most unchurched are not athesists. They are just turned off and too busy.
* The longer you have been a believer the less you think like one.
* We can be committed to building a church without building a building.
* More people are won to Christ because of feeling God's presence rather than understanding the right theology.

A few great quotes:
* The secret of concentration is elimination.
* God loves you and everyone has a plan for your life
* Without vision the people find another parish.
* Is what is hanging on the wall - happening down the hall? (Mission Statements)
* It is easier to turn a crowd into a core than turn a core into a crowd.
* Jesus sent us out to be wise and harmless. The church has nailed down the second one.
* Money spent on evangelism is never an expense - it is always an investment.
* Churches never really have money problems - they usually have idea problems.
* God's work done God's way will not lack God's support. - Hudson Taylor.
* The tension between "service" and "serve-us" exists in every church.
* If we send mixed signals we will get mixed results.
* Depth is action - doing the word not in knowing it. Don't judge a church my how deep the preaching is but rather how the members live.
* Internal announcements often become eternal announcements.
* If you want to take the temperature of your church - put the thermometer in your own mouth. (Pastors)
* We need to make our churches safe places to hear a dangerous message.
* Growing churches love and loving churches grow.
* The second half of a man's life is determined by the habits he acquired during the first half. - Dostoyevski


There was so much more. So much. Thanks for letting me down load some of this. My head feels better already.

Turn Down The Silence!

Disclaimer: This will be a reflective post in the "journaling tradition" of Brandon Scott as opposed to the "insightful tradition" of Mike Cope, the "encouraging tradition" of Kim Quile, or the "comical tradition" of Grant Boone.

Yesterday God spoke to me. Actually we had a nice long talk. Well actually he did most of the talking.

No, not in a deep, Sean Conery-ish, audible voice, but rather in a still, quiet moving of my spirit. How he spoke is not the issue - But make no mistake about it - He spoke.

And what he said is particularly not the primary point of this post either.

No the real deal is that God spoke to me.

Here is how the day unfolded:

When I woke up I thought that God was trying to tell me something but I was in a hurry to get the gym to build up my beaten down temple so that God would have a nice home. So I really didn't hear Him.

Later that morning He painted me a sunrise and gave me my family which, while I was really grateful for this, never took the time to thank Him for because I was in a hurry to get to work at the ministry I work at and do some really important work for God. So I really didn't talk to Him.

In between work and I was driving to my Spiritual Formation class and I could've sworn that God was trying to get my attention but I turned on the radio to get the weather report because I was flying out later that day so I never caught what he was saying.

In my class we focused on the spiritual disciplines as tools to get closer to God and I know God was almost shouting at me about my lack of space for Him to work in me but I had no time to deal with those tough issues because as soon as class (Spiritual Formation class - no less!) was over I was going to rush to the airport and catch a flight to Dallas so that I could attend a (get this) Church Planters conference so I just couldn't deal with my lack of spiritual disciplines - I had to focus on planting a church for God!

Then a funny thing happened. A storm appeared and lightning and floods and thunder came on the scene. Could it be God was trying to give me a glimpse of His power in hopes that I might be drawn into His presence? No. It was simply a distraction which soaked my pant legs and canceled the last flight (my flight) out of Abilene and caused me to have to spend $100 that I didn't have and drive 3 hours that I didn't have. What a pain! Did God not know my plans?

(Insert Napoleon Dynamite saying "idiot!" right here)

Of course God did. And he also know that my priorities can get out of sync quicker than N'Sync broke up.

So he put me in a car and drove with me to Dallas.

And He told me to not turn on the radio and for some strange reason I didn't. He told me to not get on the cell phone which of course, I fought Him tooth and nail and made a few calls because - hey - that silence was deafening.

And then it happened. God began to speak to me in that silence. He told me of ways that I live out of balance, out of step with His spirit, and rushed. He told me that before I can make His home better I better have room for Him to live. He told me that families can be taken away and I better be grateful because before you know it they'll be gone. He spoke of missionless ministry and the sin of working for God without God working in me. God used this silent, rainy drive to convict me of taking a class on spiritual formation and yet not allowing my own spirit to be formed as it should. And here is the kicker - God actually said, "Joel, before can plant a church you must allow me to be planted in the soil of your priorities, your time."

I almost turned on the radio to listen to some music (Christian of course) but I didn't. I drove on letting God speak. And something happened on that quiet journey that I don't think would have occurred on the planned plane ride - I listened.

It was quiet ... and I loved it!

I Dropped The Ball!

Alright! I admit it! I made a mistake!

Yesterday when I posted my now famous (by "now famous" I mean that 3, possibly 4 people have looked at it - 2 on purpose!) I failed to include fellow blogger and all around good guy,

Greg Kendall-Ball

Please, Please, Please forgive me Greg.

And for the masses who missed out ... check it out.

Down and out,
Joel

Read 'Em and Weep, Laugh, Think, Grow, etc...

I read 5 blogs quasi-religiously:

Mike Cope (daily)
Grant Boone (3-4 times a week)
Kim Quile (1-2 times a week - this is only because she doesn't post as much as Mike or Grant - something about getting 1,000 phone calls a day at work? ... slacker)
Brandon Scott Thomas (weekly)
Sam Middlebrook (weekly)

I read others semi-regularly including, Val Durington, Corey Patterson, Ty Lovell, Matt Ritchie and a few others.

So who do you read? Hey, while I'm at it ... who is reading me? (of course that begs the question - why?)

Speaking of reading ... I have like 180,756,276 pages to read for school ... peace!

Heartcutta!

I just finished watching video about Mother Teresa. Usually I have words to describe the experiences that I find myself in throughout life. Not so today. Here is what I do have: Go find a book about her. Do it today! Find a video that documents the desires of her life. Do it today. And above everything - Love others today. Labor in love. Serve with a sincere sacrificial spirit. And finally, go get among the poor. Touch them. Feed them. Serve them today. I’m done talking. It’s time to get quiet.

“God speaks in the silence of the heart.” – Mother Teresa

Entertain? YES! Amuse? NO!

I jsut finished reading an amazing article by Rob Bell. For more on who in the planet he is click here.

Check out these tasty morsels:

"So my understanding in communication is you engage people right where they are; if you don't, they leave.
Sometimes I hear people say, "The church isn't here to entertain." To entertain means to hold people's attention, which is clearly something teachers throughout the Scriptures are doing. They engage and capture attention.
But we're not here to amuse. To "a-muse" means to "not think." And it's wrong to prevent people from pondering or distract them from thinking. I'm not here to amuse. But of course I want to engage people. I have something to say."

"Artemis: the goddess of fertility. Her world center of worship was the city of Ephesus. It was believed that if you were pregnant and you brought an offering to her temple, she would protect you in childbirth. Now in the mid-first century, one out of two women was dying in childbirth. This is a real terror. So what does Paul say to Timothy? "By the way, women will be saved in childbirth." But what about Artemis?
Paul, in a brilliant, subversive way, says Artemis doesn't save women in childbirth. God does.
Now how on earth do you understand that verse without knowing some history?"


To read the entire article (a great use of 5 minutes!) check it - http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2004/002/1.24.html

"Feed My Sheep"

Found this on the web tonight. Incredible! Check this out. Saddleback church in CA is doing what most churches only talk about - making a difference in their community. The following is a letter that Saddleback's pastor, Rick Warren sent to thousands of the church's neighbors:


What is “40 Days of Community”?

You may have seen 40 Days of Community signs popping up in our neighborhood and wondered what it’s all about. It is an effort to build the sense of community in our area, sponsored by Saddleback Community Church. Beginning Oct 2, nearly 3,000 neighborhood groups will be meeting in homes once a week for six weeks - all around south Orange County. The focus will be on deepening relationships and building community spirit. Together these groups will also share in a historic community project: feeding all 34,000 of Orange County’s homeless - three meals a day for 40 days. This has never been attempted before. Regardless of your church affiliation, you are invited to share in 40 Days of Community. Just ask someone with a sign for details or visit www.saddlebackfamily.com!

For more details on this amazing display of compassion and a church truly being light on a hill go to http://www.saddlebackfamily.com/home/food_drive/default.asp.

Walker or Walker?

My wife is amazing! Simply amazing! Check out her blog! She is doing a 5 mile walk to raise money for the American Heart Association less than 7 weeks after major surgery. Let me be candid, if I am less than seven weeks out of that kind of surgery (of course there would have be a lot of surgery prior to me having the same surgery that Kim had) I'm not a Heart Association walker - I'm still using a walker.

A Lesson Well Learned

This morning my youngest daughter Emily (who will be a very big 8 yrs old in 10 days and counting) and I were playing our traditional "YOU'RE IT!" game while getting ready for school. On Monday's and Friday's (for September -- the days change each month -- always 2 days out of the week though) Emily and I try and sneak a kiss on each others face and then shout -- "you're it!" It is like the game of tag but with lips instead of hands. (Editors Note: I tried to play under these rules in junior high with girls that were not necessarily my girlfriend and the game didn't go so well as my broken finger can attest - "I can't believe she kicked me!" -- "I can't believe I tried to block it")

Anyway, Emily jumped on the sink while I was shaving and tagged me with a wet one and shouted gleefully, "you're it!" I maturely retorted, "That's not fair!" to which Emily calmly and wisely replied, "Dad, life is not fair."

I am glad that at the young age of 7 (almost 8 you know!) Emily "gets it." My other kids get it too. Why haven't I figured it out. You would think this would be a clue.

"In this world you WILL have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world." - Jesus

Yes, life is not always fair.

Which explains why I kissed Emily and shouted "you're it!" as I dropped her off at class this morning. I then proceeded to run down the hall like a junior boy running from a pack of vengeful girls.

I know, I'm mean!

But hey, she said it: life's not fair!

iq-Robot

There was this new bar in town that everyone was talking about because it had a robot-bartender. A man walks in to see this for himself. He sits at the bar and sure enough, a robot was bartending. The man orders a drink, and the robot asks him what his IQ is. The man replies that his IQ is 150. So the robot begins discussing nuclear physics, hydrogen power cells, and the current state of the global atmosphere. The man is amazed. He has to see how good this robot really is. He leaves the bar and comes right back in and sits at the bar. Again, the robot asks him for his IQ. This time the man replies "100." So the robot discusses football, basketball, and the proper way to grill a steak. The man leaves and comes back in for a third time. This time he tells the robot that his IQ is 50.

The robot replies: "So, are you democrats really going to vote for this
Kerry guy?"

A Day in the Life of Joel

Okay, for the hand full of people (granted, the hand might possibly be missing a few fingers) who actually care I have decided to let you in on the chaos and coolness that was my Monday. It is fairly typical and only the names, dates, and actual events have been changed to protect the innocent. Actually, this was my day. Enjoy.

5:40am Wake Up
5:41am Wonder why I'm up.
5:50am Read Psalm 90
5:55am Go to Powell gym and work out with my buddy Taylor Manning.
6:30am Watch guys half my age and weight lift twice as much as me.
7:13am Return home to get ready for the day.
7:55am Leave for office.
7:58am Stop by McDonalds and purchase a breakfast burrito and consume all the calories I burned during the workout plus tack on a couple a hundred extra.
8:10am Arrive at work at Crosswind.
11:35am Call Kim on the way home and ask her to whip me up a yummy hot lunch and have it ready for me to drive by and pick up and eat in my 12:00pm - 3:00pm class which she did. And yes, it was yummy!
11:55am Arrive at class. Check email for work before teacher starts.
2:55pm Class ends. Run back home and grab books for 6:00pm - 9:00pm class.
3:20pm Head back up to ACU and write a paper for above class.
4:10pm Prep for meeting with Highland Campus Ministry Leadership Team.
4:30pm Meeting for Campus Ministry.
5:15pm Leave meeting and go pick up Subway for Laura who has been away at a youth retreat and take it to her. We eat together and discuss the retreat in 9th grade girl detail.
5:48pm Leave house and go back up to ACU for class.
5:55pm Arrive at class. Class begins and so does my battle with staying awake for 3 hours of
lecture.
9:00pm Class ends. Arrive home.
9:05pm Check email from work and catch MLB scores.
9:45pm Talk with my wife and listen to her day while I'm typing this blog.
9:49pm Stop typing and really listen. My wife is so amazing!
10:09pm Post.
10:30pm Hopefully go to bed.
11:30pm Probably actually go to bed because I had to read.
11:30pm Begin nightmares about reading.

Goodnight!

40 Days Til The Blog-a-versary!

Coming Oct 18th to a monitor near you...

My blog is turning ONE YEAR OLD in just 40 days. Get ready for the Grandhootenanny of celebrations party people. You have no idea what I have in store for my little Bloggerite Community.

Stay tuned! We've only just begun!

A Paragraph in the Life of Joel

I just read a few pages in one of the 9 books I have to read this semester and then it hit me: "why should I keep all this good information to myself?" So, with that being said, here is a paragraph that I'm confident will change your world view, your life, and the way you order take out...

One frontier of the study of Christian spirituality, for which little has been done to date, is the relationship between the shifting styles of spirituality-i.e., the dominance in turn of apophatic/speculative, speculative/katphatic, kataphatic/affective, or affective/apophatic-and the nature of human institutions. The hypothesis is that a relation exists, just as it does in all forms of knowledge, and that this expresses itself in styles of devotional action characteristic of an age. Having stated the hypothesis any documentation must be offered very hesitantly. There are some tenative and partial correlations. Apophatic forms of prayer seem to be related to the collapse of social institutions. The fourth and fifth centuries and the fourteenth centuries were times of an emphasis on apophatic prayer. The decline of the Roman Empire and the shaking of the structures of feudalism, particularly as effected by the plague, coincide with these times...

Okay ... that is enough. I'll spare you the rest. Suffice it to say that my reading assignments don't always fire me up. I mean after reading that scholarly stuff did you feel more compelled to reach out to the lost or feed the poor or even to not want to yell at the guy with 18 items in the 15 items or less lane at the store? Me neither.

But hey, it's my blog right? If I want to e-bellyache then who is to say no?

This World Is Not My Home...

This can't be as good as it gets.


"Russian School Tragedy::Hurricane Frances::Scott Peterson:

Amen.

Just ran across a copy of Max Lucado's prayer at the Republican Convention from this past Monday. Check it out:

"Oh Lord, God of our fathers, You direct the affairs of all nations. You made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth. We echo the declaration of Job: "God makes nations great, and destroys them; He enlarges nations, and guides them." Please guide us.

You are the supreme strength of the universe. We trace every decision and blessing back to your hand. Thank you for this nation. And have mercy upon her. Please unite our citizens. Nurture the poor, abused, and abandoned our children; keep our homeland free from harm. Remind us, oh Lord, that you do not exist to bless America. We exist to bless you. Remind us of your unquenchable, unconditional love. Affirm us when we seek your will, forgive and correct us, when we don't. Speak to us about the brevity of this life and the beauty of the next. And, most of all, prepare our souls for the moment we meet You face to face. We lay this election before you. And, in the end, your will be done. By the source of mercy we pray. To you be the glory forever and ever. Amen."

Now before any one drops "conservative" or "liberal" or any other stereotypical smack, do me a favor. Just read the prayer again. Read it close and slow. I thought it was both beautiful and brilliant. Your thoughts? (not on the election, politics, Max, churches of Christ, women's role, apartheid, the cutting of the rain forest in the Amazon Basin ... - just the prayer) What do you think about the prayer.